Saturday, December 19, 2009
18 signs you've grown up
18 Signs You've Grown UP!!
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
3. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
4. You watch the Weather Channel.
5. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
6. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
7. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
8. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.
9. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
10. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
11. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
12. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
13. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!
14. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of
one.
15. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset
rather than settle your stomach.
16. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
17. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work.
18. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you and can't find one to then you forward it to a
bunch of old pals and friends cause you know they'll enjoy it and do the same.
1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
3. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
4. You watch the Weather Channel.
5. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
6. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
7. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
8. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next
door won't turn down the stereo.
9. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
10. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
11. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
12. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
13. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM!
14. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of
one.
15. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset
rather than settle your stomach.
16. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
17. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for
real work.
18. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that
doesn't apply to you and can't find one to then you forward it to a
bunch of old pals and friends cause you know they'll enjoy it and do the same.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Keeping your sanity
19 Ways to Maintain or Lose Sanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don t use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, 'Rock Bottom'.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking LotYelling"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are GoingTo Have To Let One Of You Go."
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don t use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, 'Rock Bottom'.
17. When The Money Comes Out of The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking LotYelling"Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are GoingTo Have To Let One Of You Go."
Friday, December 11, 2009
WHAT WOMEN THINK
Comment on the astounding ego of women.
Why is it that many women over 40 think they look like Catherine Zeta Jones when most of them actually look more like James Earl Jones?
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